Rant to ruin someone's day?

Send them a handful of real looking pubes.

Sure we could stick some pubes right in the envelope and call it a day but we're all about maximizing shock value and what better way of doing that then tucking them into a folded letter so when the person opens the letter expecting say an invitation, instead they get one hell of a surprise when a bunch of thick strands of real looking pubes fall out.

You know they're gonna be absolutely mortified that some a**hole mailed what they think are actual pubes to them.